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FYI: EVERYONE PLEASE READ

Things you MUST know about me if you are reading my journal:

My name is Crystal or amythyst. Not Crys and not amy.

Do NOT call me "dear," "hun," "honey," "sweetheart," "babe," "baby," "sweetie," or any other word like this unless you know me well enough to do so.

I am not a "broad," "bitch," "cunt," "slut," a "whore," or any other derogative term you can think of, unless we are EXTREMELY good friends and I know you're kidding.

Nor am I a "dyke," "lez," "butch," "femme," or any other term you can think of for a lesbian woman. I am not a lesbian.

I am also not "straight."

I AM bisexual. This does not mean that I am a "fencesitter." I do not need to "make up my mind" or "decide." I've been out since I was 17; I'm quite sure this is not "a phase." And YOU are not the one who's going to "make me realize."

I am not "whitebread" or "backwater." I was raised in Southern California. I am quite politically savvy. I was raised with an open mind and an open heart.

I do not judge people until I've had some sort of personal interaction with them. Ever.

I identify as a Celtic Pagan. This does not mean that I worship Satan, nor does it mean that I perform human, or animal, sacrifice. It does mean that I believe that Jesus was only a man. However, I bear no ill-will toward people who believe otherwise. I accept the Christian god as one of the faces of the higher power, as I believe that "all gods are one god and all goddesses are one goddess and they are parts of the same whole." I have believed this since I was 11 years old. You will not change these beliefs, so don't even try.

I am a feminist. This does NOT mean that I believe that women are better than men. It DOES mean that I believe in equality-100%.

I am not racist or classist. I am not a bigot. I try to keep my prejudices (everyone has them) to a minimum.

I am a pacifist.

I am not "melodramatic," nor am I a "drama queen." My journal may seem so, but, in truth, I live a very boring life. I just don't write about the mundane aspects of it. I write about the things that affect me instead.

I am not "cold" or "hateful." I am a very passionate and loving person. I will do just about anything to help out a friend. And, unless, circumstances work to prevent me from doing so, I will ALWAYS be here for a friend in need; you only need to ask.

I can hate. I can also love. As I said, I'm passionate-with my loves, with my friends, in my beliefs and my causes.

I don't treat my friends much different than my lovers. If this makes you uncomfortable, you need to let me know.

I am polyamorous. I will not change for you.

I am not spoiled and I am not rich. In fact, I'm quite poor. I work hard to put myself through school, with no support and no help from my family. I am doing it all myself. I don't talk about it much, but I don't feel the need to. I do what I do because I have to; I don't expect praise for it. But I am NOT wealthy and I am NOT privileged, and I do NOT appreciate being told that I am. Yes, I did go to a wealthy school in a wealthy city. However, I worked my ass off every fucking day so that I could do so.

I am proud of my education. Please don't disparage it.

I am proud of my heritage. This does not make me racist.

I am proud of being a woman. This doesn't make me a man-hater.

I am proud of being bisexual. This does not make me deviant.

I am not militant.

I am sex-positive. This does not make me a "slut" or a "whore." Nor does it mean that sex is the end-all, be-all of my life. It simply means that I feel that sex is natural and should not be considered "dirty" or "disgusting." It also means that I do not have a problem talking about it openly and honestly.

I am open on the internet, but shy as hell in person. Try not to be shocked if you meet me and have to draw me out.

I'm not popular and I'm not trendy. I just am.

Much of what you see, if you meet me, is a façade. If you get close enough to me, don't be surprised if it crumbles.

I am not self-absorbed or shallow. I am not a snob.

I'm not close-minded. I'll listen to you, but it doesn't mean that I'll agree with you, and we'll probably argue.

Just because I argue with you doesn't mean that I'm angry with you or that I dislike you; it just means that I don't agree with you.

I am NOT a victim; I am a survivor.

I've had a very fucked up childhood. No, I don't want to talk about it. If I do, I'll let you know. But don't assume that I've lived a "perfect life." I haven't.

DO NOT pull the victim routine on me. It won't work and I'll just end up laughing at your sorry ass. I have no sympathy to give you. I pulled myself out of the gutter; you can too.

If I am on your friends list, I expect that you are reading my journal and know AT THE VERY LEAST the above things. If you don't, remove me immediately. I have no time to waste on people who don't care. If you are on my friends list and you do or say something that I find thoroughly offensive, I WILL remove you and ask to be removed from your list. Chances are, it will be quite clear why I've removed you. If you have questions, feel free to ask, but don't insult me about it.

Joking about or advocating abuse of other human beings will get you removed from my friends list immediately. I've been on the receiving end of it and I've watched it happen. It is NEVER okay with me. I see it, you're gone. Period.

Racism of any type will get you removed from my friends list immediately.

Homophobia will get you removed from my friends list immediately.

Advocating violence, of any form, will get you removed from my friends list immediately.

Arguing with anyone other than me in my journal will get you banned.

Verbal abuse of me, or any of my friends, in my journal will get you banned. Verbal abuse of me ANYWHERE will get you removed from my friends list immediately.

And since it apparently needs to be added, violating my privacy or confidentiality will get you kicked off my friends list and the fuck out of my life. Fuck you if you don't understand that trust is part of what it means to be someone's friend.

It's called respect people; use it. Period. If you don't have any respect for me, you shouldn't be reading my journal.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE ANY OF THE ABOVE THINGS, LEAVE MY JOURNAL NOW.

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This entry was originally posted at http://amythyst.dreamwidth.org/728343.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Ming-Hao Liu


Age 41
Livingston, New Jersey, United States
Engineer (Senior Bridge Designer), Washington Group International
Rutgers Alumni
National Cheng Kung University (1982 Civil Eng.) in Tainan, Taiwan Alumni
Confirmed dead at the World Trade Center AT/IN Building



A Teacher at Heart

If he had not been an engineer for the Washington Group International in the World Trade Center, Ming-Hao Liu would probably have been content teaching children or planning parties. After all, that is precisely what he did during most weekends as the principal of the Livingston Chinese School, near his home in Livingston, N.J.

Last year, Mr. Liu, 41, persuaded four busloads of parents and students to go to Tennessee for a field trip, after emphasizing that the journey, not the destination, mattered most. Seizing the microphone, he encouraged students to get up in the front of the bus and talk in Mandarin about these questions: "Why do you love your parents? What do you want to do for your parents?" recalled his wife, Jiun-Min.

Another time, during a trip back to his native Taiwan, he was planning to return with some gifts for his two young sons. But when he stumbled upon new textbooks for his Chinese school, he stuffed all 150 books into his suitcase. His sons' gifts did not fit. He left them with his mother-in-law. His wife understood. His sons are still learning. "They didn't know why Daddy spent so much time for other people and for the school," Mrs. Liu said. "I tell them: `It's not for himself; it's for other people. He always wants to make things good.' "

New York Times Profile
Published October 10, 2001


Ming-Hao Liu

Jiun Liu can still picture her husband, Ming-Hao, in every room of their Livingston, N.J., home.

He smiles at her from family photographs and dreams with her as she looks out a window at their half-finished back-yard patio.

"I can still see him all over the house," she said.

Jiun last heard from Ming-Hao, 41, when she called him at his 91st-floor office in the World Trade Center's south tower after the building next to his was attacked. "Then the line just went blank," she said.

Ming-Hao Liu was warm but tough. His wife said he had two passions growing up in Taiwan: first it was rugby, then later, civil engineering.

After his undergraduate study at Cheng-Kung University in Taiwan, he came to the United States in 1985 to pursue a master's in civil engineering at Rutgers University. Except for one year, he worked from his 1987 graduation until Sept. 11 for what is now Washington Group International.

While at the firm, he helped design the monorail at Newark International Airport, as well as bridges around the New York City area and a new airport transportation system for JFK Airport.

His latest project was less sweeping but no less a point of pride for him, said his wife: He had drawn up plans to extend their driveway and enlarge their back-yard deck. For two weeks before the attack, he had hurried home to talk to contractors carrying out his plans.

--James Janega (The Chicago Tribune, Sept. 25, 2001)


Ming-Hao Liu, 41, proud of his own backyard

An experienced engineer, Ming- Hao Liu worked on many big jobs after he came to the United States from Taiwan in 1985, including reconstruction of the Brooklyn- Queens Expressway and planning for the Hudson-Bergen Light Rail line.

But redesigning the backyard of his home in Livingston was a project that brought him an equal amount of pride and joy. A new driveway, a patio and deck were all part of the just-completed project.

"It was his last dream," said Sunil Rajani, a resident of North Brunswick and co-worker of Mr. Liu's in New York. "Every day, he talked about the yard. He'd just started thinking about the next phase -- new trees and planters."

Mr. Liu, 41, a senior staff engineer for the Washington International Group, was working on the 91st floor of Two World Trade Center when the building was struck by a hijacked jet Sept. 11. Although other employees of the firm were able to make it to safety, Mr. Liu did not. The family was informed last week by New York City police that his body had been identified.

Mr. Liu's wife, Jiun-Min, said the two were speaking on the phone seconds before the crash abruptly ended their conversation.

Jiun-Min Liu remembered her husband as a caring man, one with an inquisitive mind and leadership qualities. His pursuit of knowledge sometimes led him to stop his car and approach strangers with questions about the landscaping of their property.

"I would warn him about speaking with strangers, but he was warmhearted and made friends very easily," she said.

Natives of China who knew each other on Taiwan, the Lius earned master's degrees at the New Brunswick campus of Rutgers University. They married here in 1987. Mr. Liu's degree was in civil engineering; Mrs. Liu's is in statistics.

Mr. Liu was active in both his profession and community. He was treasurer of the Chinese Institute of Engineers in this country and a member of the International Chinese Transportation Professionals Association. He was also chairman and principal of the Livingston Chinese School, organizing trips for pupils and parents alike.

In addition to his wife, Mr. Liu is survived by his parents, Lo-Yao and Jung-Lan Kao Liu of Oakland, Calif.; four sisters, Lucille Pak of Livingston, Betty Chi of Lexington, Mass., and Shirley Fu and Jenny Yao, both of Oakland, Calif.; a brother, Ming-Cheng Liu of Chester; two sons, Allen, 12, and Austin, 7; and 14 nieces and nephews.

A funeral service will be held Saturday at 10 a.m. at the Trinity Covenant Church on Cedar Street in Livingston. The family has decided it will bury Mr. Liu with photos of his reconstructed backyard.

Donations may be sent to the Livingston Chinese School, P.O. Box 179, Livingston, N.J. 07039. They should be sent to the attention of Shianjong Liu or York Tsuo.
Profile by Guy Sterling published in THE STAR-LEDGER.

Dreamcatcher

January 2010
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